This is the first Weekly Wrap-up, so I’m going to briefly explain what it is. I get a lot of news sent to my phone via @Twitter from @bbcworld, @SkyNewsBreak, @nytimes, @nzherald, @nzheraldnznews, @nzheraldbiz, @nzheraldtech @BreakingNews, @cnnbrk and @Reuters. I literally get hundreds of texts a day. And when I see a good one, I save it to a folder on my phone. And now, I am looking through and letting you know what they said – and, of course, what I think. I also will give one line that I think is the most striking for this week.
Line of the week: Is this not proof that Scouts and Guides is where paedophiles work?
The first is from @bbcworld: Rugby scrums should be banned in schools to protect children playing a sport “not safe enough” for them.
Whoever said this needs to get a life. I remember playing rugby in year 5 at Primary School. And we played scrums – we didn’t know what we were doing, but we had scrums. The fact we didn’t know what we were doing probably made it a bad idea, but regardless, noone got hurt. There were teachers there, so if anything went wrong, they could react. But the simple fact is, why not make sure the kids know how to do a proper scrum. If you know how to do one properly, they are significantly safer. This is an utterly ridiculous suggestion.
The next is from @nzheraldnznews: ‘Sorry’ Kiwi faces Bali prison term over cocaine.
“I’m so sorry. I know you put away that Australian bird five years ago or however long ago it was, but still, I’m sorry. You can let me off now.” Are people really that stupid? You’re lucky to not get capital punishment for this sort of thing in places like Bali. This person managed to get away with a minimum term of 12 years. And they were damned lucky. They’ll probably fake, or maybe not fake, a suicide attempt, and hope that they can get their sentence shifted to New Zealand, but regardless, they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. I don’t think there is a more stupid person who would get into drugs in the first place, but once you have, why would you take them to a place where they kill people for having them? I don’t even know how to describe a person that stupid.
@Reuters: Biden nudges Iraqi leaders to end deadlock.
“Hey, I’m a bit of a nobody, but you wanna start agreeing? It makes America look really bad if we go into a place to give them democracy, and they can’t agree on who should lead that democracy.” I have one statement on this. WHAT DID YOU EXPECT?!?! America didn’t go into Iraq to give them democracy – America went into Iraq to give them THEIR democracy. Iraq isn’t an America. They have very different types of people with very different beliefs. They should have a political system that reflects that. I do accept that what they had wasn’t great. But if they wanted a change, they would have done it themselves. In fact, if they wanted a change, they wouldn’t be bombing the people who gave it to them. America needs to realise that just because they’re a “World power” doesn’t mean they have the right to dictate how a country is governed.
@nzherald: Wikipedia website down – reason unknown.
How sad that this is a top story. How sad that New Zealand’s only (I think) national daily newspaper considers it important enough to let people know about. Especially when you consider the fact it is not accept by almost all educational facilities as a credible source. Theoretically, Wikipedia is useless, as you can’t trust what it says. I could make a website, go to the Jay Leno Wikipedia page (assuming there is one… I haven’t looked) and quote my own site saying he admitted he takes crack cocaine. You cannot trust that, but it has been referenced. If there is no obvious link to the person who made the change and the URL, Wikipedia will accept that. So how sad that such a site is important news.
@nzherald: Police investigate death of young man at Twilight screening.
Kids wanting to be like the vampires? No, but that’s how the article was titled to portray. I’m not sure what the post mortem said, as I didn’t really keep up with the story, but Police later said that there was no signs of injury, and that it was a mystery.
@bbcworld: A Dutch inquiry into the UN climate science panel backs its main findings, but calls for more transparency.
I find a problem with this at “backs its main findings”. Ever heard of the Climategate emails, where the scientists openly admitted to falsifying data? They had, because that’s what they were investigating. But openly admitting something doesn’t mean you meant it… And it doesn’t make your admission true… I just don’t know what to say with this one…
@bbcworld: MPs criticise Nick Clegg for planning a referendum on the day of elections in Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland.
“Don’t give them TWO voting papers! They’ll get all confused! They aren’t as clever as us politicians, and they are bound to make silly errors, those commoners.” This is the same as what the New Zealand Labour Party said at the 2008 election. Ironically, it was about the same issue. They said we can’t have a referendum at the same time because the voters will get confused. Now I highly doubt that the politicians in the UK would be as tactless to openly say those words (which NZ Labour did), but effectively, that’s what they’re saying to you. If I’m not that clever, why did I realise not to vote for you, you arrogant so-and-so.
@nzheraldtech: Apple customers fall victim to app scam hacker.
I think this is possibly one of the bigger international stories to come out of the past week. Apple was a bit too thick to realise that the majority of the apps in their top 50 downloaded where by the same random developer, and that there was something wrong with this. Developer hacks iTunes, makes random accounts buy the app (charging it to their credit card), making the app be up the list, and the developer’s pockets be fuller. It took them about four days to block the developer. Fail Apple is fail.
@nzherald: The Queen gets a new Blackberry.
Her Majesty has got a Blackberry. Yet the British Monarch is almost bankrupt, and, in fact, it is thought that by 2012, there will be no money left in the Royal purse. So, the Queen goes out and buys a Blackberry. Why, I would never know. They are less secure than other smartphones – even the Americans know that. The Whitehouse’s security detail wouldn’t let Obama keep his Blackberry when he came into office. I’m not sure what ever came of that, but regardless, that was the word after he became President-elect. Why not get an iPhone, or, even better, an Android phone. A Nokia with Symbian on would be better than a Blackberry. Bad call made by a monarch that may become bankrupt, and one would think, when that happens, the UK will become a Republic of some description. Though how they can be the United KINGDOM when they don’t have a monarch, I don’t know…
@nzherald: Australia wants to set up asylum-seeker processing centre in NZ.
Way to misreport @nzherald. The real story was the new Australian Prime Minister was in talks with her New Zealand counterpart, @johnkeypm, about setting up a regional asylum-seeker centre somewhere in the Pacific. I cannot recall the suggested location. The Australian PM was simply asking if New Zealand would be interested in being a part of this project. The response was “We’ll think about it”, as far as I can gather.
@BreakingNews: Israeli Prime Minister Netanyahu during Washington visit: ‘We’re committed’ to peace with the Palestinians.
Never a bigger lie has been told. If Israel wanted peace with Palestine, they would get out of the West Bank. Quite simply, Israel should remove themselves entirely from the Middle East if we’re honest. They were placed there. The land that is officially theirs was tak
en from their neighbours. I can understand why someone would be upset by that. If I bought a house, and the Council decided to place another house partially on my land, I wouldn’t exactly be happy about it. Having said that, they gave it away. Now Israel has turned what was arid land into land that grows crops, they want it back. That’s not right. But neither is Israel trying to take more land than what they were already given.
@bbcworld: US President Barack Obama says he believes Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu “is serious” about with the Palestine.
@cnnbrk: Obama: Israel’s prime minister “willing to take risks for peace.”
Well President Obama is a bigger idiot than I imagined then. All the above still stands.
@cnnbrk: Lindsay Lohan cries in court as judge rules she violated probation by missing alcohol counseling (sic) sessions.
The bad spelling wasn’t me. It was CNN. But Lindsay, really? “OMG, I didn’t do something a court told me to, so I get into more trouble? How do that work?” Really, celebrities can’t be that stupid. They just can’t be.
@BreakingNews: Israeli leader’s bodyguard luggage is lost between flights, ends up in LA with 4 Glock handguns gone, presumed stolen.
Yeah, because one man (I assume from the lack of a plural on bodyguard that it’s one man) really needs four handguns… Overkill? Yes. Makes 90% of men want to have that job? You betcha!
@bbcworld: Climate scientists emerge from third inquiry with their reputations for honesty intact.
What? Same stunned response to the above one.
@bbcworld: Stadium chiefs ban vuvuzelas from Eden Park for New Zealand’s Tri-Nations opener against South Africa in August.
What? Wasn’t that just yesterday? And if so, why did they say August? I didn’t watch the game, so I wouldn’t know. But regardless, this is about the vuvuzela – the instrument from the devil. It doesn’t belong anywhere. Not in any sport. Except maybe golf. That would be funny. But it just doesn’t belong anywhere!!
@bbcworld: A woman sexually assaulted a five-month-old baby while her boyfriend took photographs, a court hears.
Mmm jacking off a five-year-old…. I don’t even want to think about that. And all I can say is I pity anyone who was in that court. You had to hear details of that. You probably had to see the pictures too, which is possibly worse, but I don’t know… It’s all pretty bad…
@bbcworld: One of Britain’s rarest birds successfully raises four chicks at a secret location in the centre of Birmingham.
The centre of Birmingham doesn’t seem too secret to me… Just saying…
@bbcworld: A couple who were caught cheating almost PS10,000 of benefits after appearing on the television show Wife Swap…
I didn’t get the rest of this, because it was too long for a twitter update, but you can check out the full story at http://bit.ly/9Hhexz
Gotta love that Wife Swap…
@bbcworld: Tony Blair “misread” Iran’s view towards Iraw becoming a democracy a former ambassador to Tehran says.
Sort of like Bush and Blair misread their collective dream of Iraq being the place they need to invade as being a reality. Good tip, if your eyes are closed when you think of it, and you magically end up in bed after you think of it, it’s not a good idea to act on…
@BreakingNews: Bin Laden’s cook pleads guilty at Guantanamo.
Hold on there a second…. I thought Guantanamo was closed…. But no, it’s open. And it’s accusing people of cooking food.
@nzherald: Girl Guides attempt to create the longest-ever bra chain.
You see, to me, this is just offensive. Little girls taking off their bras and making a chain with them… Is this not proof that Scouts and Guides is where paedophiles work?
@nzherald: Moko’s death ‘sad loss’ for community.
I would beg to differ, and say it’s a sad loss to tourism. He was just a dolphin, so for the community it shouldn’t make any difference at all. However, he was a friendly dolphin, and attracted tourists… Here we go… It’s a loss for the community because they hadn’t bludged enough money out of him yet.
@nzherald: Ex-nun forgives men for chopping off hand: A former Auckland nun watched Muslim militants use an axe to cut off th… (e right hand of her younger brother in India, but she has forgiven the men.)
I don’t get the importance of this. But from the bit in the text, I was surprised. Why would you forgive someone cutting off your hand. But it wasn’t even her hand. So get over it. Oh, she has. Newsworthy? Nope.
@bbcworld: One of the largest ever find of Roman coins in Britain has been made by a man using a metal detector.
So going down the beach with a metal detector DOES pay off?? *finds my old metal detector*
@cnnbrk: Lawyer sues basketball star LeBron James, alleging he is his father.
If every time a kid said “YOU AREN’T MY FATHER!!” the father took the kid to court, I think we would end up with a VERY long line to courtrooms. What’s interesting here is that noone really cares, because LeBron James is just an arrogant s.o.b who needs to stop making one hour television programs to say “I’m going to Miami.” Really, just go on the news or something, take up the whole five seconds it takes to say that, and STOP WASTING EVERYONE’S TIME YOU ARROGANT SO-AND-SO!!!
@bbcworld: How clever is Germany’s World Cup octopus Paul?
I have no qualms in saying that Paul the Octopus (or Pulpa Paul as the Trending Topic on Twitter is) is the biggest thing to come out of the Football World Cup. Bad officiating is something, and if FIFA allows technology, that will be pretty big. But Paul is just huge. Having said that, he’s only any good at Football. He picked South Africa over New Zealand in the rugby. He failed.
@Reuters: Russians think spy scandal invented by U.S.: poll.
They would. But they obviously haven’t been told that Russia has traded American spies for them. Because surely they wouldn’t do that if they weren’t really intelligence agents. Something to ponder though.
@bbcworld: Tony Blair meets nine children named after him during a visit to Kosovo.
Well they can never get into politics… They would be killed. Tony Blair was a retard.
@nzheraldnznews: Kahui twins did not die from abuse, says expert.
This just ticks me off. There was never any question that the Kahui twins were abused. Even the defence admitted at trial that someone must have abused them. If you don’t know who the Kahui twins are, check out http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cris_and_Cru_Kahui_homicides.
@bbcworld: The use of botox is approved as a preventative treatment for chronic migraine by UK drug regulators.
Wife: “Honey, I need to get some botox.”
Husband: “But you’re beautiful. And that stuff just makes women look ugly.” (it’s true)
Wife: “Um… It’s to stop chronic migraine.”
The excuse has been given to them….
@bbcworld: New Zealand anti-whaling activist Peter Bethune arrives home after being deported from Japan.
BUT WE DON’T WANT HIM!!! Keep him, Japan! Put him in prison to rot! He deserved everything you gave him, and more. Just make sure he’s in a cell with some bull queers! BUT DON’T SEND HIM BACK!!!
@nzherald: Man accidentally shoots himself in backside.
I don’t know what to say about some people’s stupidity… HOW?!?!?!
@BreakingNews: NZ rugby ambassador steps down after blaming women in part for rapes by players.
Good. But not good publicity for New Zealand really, is it? Oh and it’s good that he resigned. Not good that he said that.
@bbcworld: A government review could mean the national census due to take place in 2011 will be the last of its kind.
No census? How do you k
now the population of people? And how do you annoy people every so often, saying they have to fill out forms at a certain date and time?
@SkyNewsBreak: Police say they did fire 50,000 volt Taser at Raoul Moat – but it is not known at what point this happened.
More like they fired it at him, his hands squeezed, trigger pulled, him dead. But they won’t admit that.
@bbcworld: US Vice-President Joe Biden tells a TV chat show that sending a glamorous spy back to Russian “was not my idea”.
As much as I feel Joe Biden is a nobody, I do like his humour. Unfortunately, it’s most likely the humour of someone writing stuff for him that I’m laughing at. It’s sad. But still, very funny. I did laugh.
@nzheraldnznews: Prime essay: A teenage protester who jumped on Prime Minister John Key’s car in Christchurch will avoid jail by wr… (iting an essay entitled What it Would Mean to Have a Criminal Conviction.)
I think this is criminal. Put the kid in jail and let him be happy that it was John Key’s car in Christchurch rather than Barack Obama’s car in New York. The kid would have been shot dead immediately.
@bbcworld: Nelson Mandela’s grandson says FIFA has put “extreme pressure” on the former president to attend Sunday’s Worl… (d Cup Final.)
Yes, they would. But I feel they should leave him alone. His granddaughter (I think) did die just before the opening ceremony. Surely it is natural for him to be still grieving. Leave him alone.