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It's Football and NOT soccer, people

This is something I get very annoyed about – when people start calling Football, soccer. It’s just not right. Football is Football, and soccer only exists if you’re arrogant or misinformed.

The game’s full name is Association Football. Football is the shortening used my all but 2 countries in the world. The word soccer came about because it’s supposedly a shortening of Association. According to the Oxford Dictionary, it is because Assoc. (said a-sock) + -er. The -er is defined as “suffix used in slang formations usually distorting the root of the word.” However, the official term for the game in all countries except America and Canada is Football.

There is some descent regarding this in New Zealand, with persons saying “in New Zealand, when we say football, we mean rugby.” My response to that is, when you call yourself a New Zealander, you really mean in ignorant git. If this is so, why are rugby commentators being told to use the term rugby rather than football. I don’t have any evidence of this, however during the last All Blacks game (against Wales), the commontator said “Oh that we excellent footb- er rugby.” A commontator would not do this for the fun of it. They would do it because they were told to in new guidelines. Furthermore, there is no doubt that football is the name of ‘soccer’ in New Zealand. The governing body in New Zealand is called New Zealand Football – after changing the name from Soccer New Zealand. This happened when the CEO of the then Soccer New Zealand said “the international game is football, and we’re part of the international game” (I will reference this in a comment tomorrow). Add to this that New Zealand’s football competition is called the New Zealand Football Championship, once again, after changing the name from the New Zealand Soccer League at the same time as the national body change (also will be referenced tomorrow).

Some say that Australia calls football by the name ‘soccer’ too. But this is incorrect. They changed the name of Football about 2 years before New Zealand did (once again, referenced tomorrow). It just leaves America and Canada, with there also being some dispute in the Rupublic of Ireland. America and Canada use the term football for their respective codes of gridiron. I find this strange, because I don’t see any foot involved really. Surely it would be better calling it handball, or even handegg. In Ireland, there is dispute, because some say soccer for football because of using the term football for Gaelic Football. This I can understand, because it is has the word football in its name, and also because the most important part of the game is kicking.

But, come on people in places other than the US, Canada and Ireland. It’s called Football. It’s not soccer. “Let’s go play some Association-er.” I don’t really see it… “Let’s go play some football.” Yep, there it is.

Also, come on Canada and the US. Though football is officiallly defined as a game with a field and two goals at either end, how does that make sense. Let’s break up the word. Foot (ie. your feet). Ball (ie a ball). Football (ie your foot connecting with a ball). Yes, gridiron you connect your foot with the ball about once every 5 minutes for about 0.1 seconds. But the majority of the game involves the ball in your hands. The same situation is with rugby. Another similar situation with Gaelic Football, however, the kicking of the ball is quite important, so I would let that one slide.

According to the dictionary definition, Handball should be called Football. As should, to a degree, Basketball. Oh, and Quidditch is football too, if you like Harry Potter. Hockey should be called football too. I don’t remember Handball, Basketball, Quidditch (bad example, I know, but whatever) or Hockey ever being called Football. Probably because in all of those games, you don’t kick the ball. In fact, in Handball, Basketball and Hockey, you aren’t allowed to kick the ball. In Quidditch, I think you could break your foot if you tried that one. But that’s what the defintion is wrong – it includes games that you aren’t allowed to use your feet in. How can they be football? They can’t. So I think we can safely say, the dictionary definition is wrong. So, if that’s so, we can’t use it to justify rugby and gridiron being called football. And there is no real good reason other than the dictionary definition to call them football.

And oh snap. I think I just gave conclusive evidence as to why rugby and gridiron shouldn’t be called football. So, I think we have an end of story situation here. Rugby is not football. Gridiron is not football. End. Of. Story.

Oh, and yes I did just write 800 words before I wrote this paragraph (and 800 words exactly) on this. I am quite proud. You better have read it, not just glanced through it. I may or may not eat your first born child if you just glanced. Though, chances are, I won’t. But still, I’d go back and read it just to be sure…….. 😉


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